Come hungry, Leave Thirsty

Harper and frozen yogurt!

2011-04-11T09:44:00.000-05:00

my quarterly post.

2010-09-25T09:50:00.002-05:00

- I seem to post once every few months, i am kind of lazy and apathetic about the internet(s) in general lately. I blame steve jobs, republicans, and college football.

- Steve Jobs: Ever since I started using the iphone, my approach to the world wide web has been altered. Everything must fit into 140 characters, and more specifically everything must fit into a 480-by-320 display. Which is great for twitter and reading blogs, it just make things more challenging for facebook and actually composing blogs. In addition, the google/blogger app is less than satisfying on the iphone. I get the whole iOS/Android competition, but come on google, I may actually switch to wordpress like the rest of the internet(s).

- Republicans: I blogged a lot more under a republican administration. Them deciding not to run a legitimate candidate in 2008, was a small factor in me not blogging as much the last couple years. Plus, politicians are easy to blame, just take a look at washington...

- College football: I love college football... :)

ben

The woz and childhood memories.

2010-06-22T22:29:00.002-05:00

-One of my summer childhood memories is of me falling asleep on the living room floor watching Conan O'brien. Then waking up the next morning hearing Kathy lee gifford tell some stupid story about Cody.

- Kathy griffin was much more interesting when she was dating the "Woz.". That was one of those rare moments in life when my wifes world and my world intersected. I predict that thee next time this happens is when Stephen Hawking dates Kim Kardashian.

- if you don't know who the "Woz" is, google him on your Mac computer.

Ben

My daughter the Pickpocket?

2010-01-16T20:11:00.003-06:00

- I am pretty sure my daughter doesn't fully understand the meaning of personal possessions. To her an object laying around is free game for her to stick in her mouth, or to bang against another object.

- Tonight for my dads birthday my family went to eat at a restaurant. There were 10 of us including my 13 month old daughter. The space was a little cramped.

- A lady from table next to us, stood next to my daughter while waiting for someone to pass. My daughter, who likes to explore, started to explore in the Ladies pocket. I watched in amazement (and humor), as I saw my daughter start to pull the woman's gloves out of her pocket. (free gloves!).

- Luckily my wife had the quick response of removing my daughters hand from the gloves, and from the pocket. The lady then walked past with no knowledge of her "almost stolen gloves."

The cat is out of the bag.

2010-01-14T22:06:00.003-06:00

- Thats right folks, the Cat is out of the bag. It was really frustrating that the Cat was in the bag. Usually Cats thrash around a lot when they are inside of bags. This time, I think I was more frustrated about it being in the bag than the Cat. Thats mostly do to my strong desire to having a cat, and the fact that the cat was a phone.

- Yeah, I got an Iphone. Switched carriers, Switched phone numbers. It was real fun, I recommend doing it once a year.

- Iphone blogs generate a lot of traffic. Since most people who come here to this blog know me in some form or fashion, I will post something about my iphone that relates to me.

- Which leads me to my semi-random, maybe just this one time column topic of "top iphone apps that I used today." Hopefully these will describe the tone and mood of the day, and maybe let you all a little bit into my life.

"Logos" --- They make one of the best bible software programs for the pc (and now the mac). I was impressed that this app was free. Not only was it free, but it wasn't like that other bible app that is one big advertisement to buy stuff from their store (olive tree). Its nice not to make holiness dependent upon money and buying overpriced software add-ons All if not most of the popular modern translations (NIV, ESV, NASB etc) were available. I guess I used this because I am feeling holy or something. Personal reflection: I am going to make an honest attempt at reading through the bible this year, and luckily this app has a "reading plan."

"Madden NFL football." --- I am pretty sure i forked over 5 bucks for this app because college football officially ended. Now life is a little more boring. Sure my daughter is becoming confident in walking, she says a lot of gibberish that makes me laugh, but I miss hearing about the college football drama. You know... what Tim Tebow is praying for, who USC is paying to play for them, who Nebraska's Ndamukong Suh is throwing around, or which coach is getting fired this week for losing/being a jerk/etc. If only they had and NCAA football app for the iphone. I would have paid $20 bucks for it . So now I get to play a football game full of former college football players that I barely remember. or full of Division 2 players that were better players but had bad grades and couldn't play for Notre Dame or Alabama. But hey, they got a degree in "universal studies" from washakuga state community college, and now they make 5 million a year. Moral of the story, Nebraska needs a professional football team (never going to happen), or one of the nearby teams need to make the playoffs (KC Chiefs, trade up for Suh please).

Ben

Fat lip at the hands of blueberry yogurt

2010-01-09T20:11:00.005-06:00

- Today was a Daddy day for Harper, my wife was working today.

- I never really noticed it, but for most of today my daughter had left overs from lunch under her bottom lip. Blueberry yogurt, it was good enough that harper decided to leave some on all day.

- Within in 30 seconds of my wife coming home, she noticed that it wasn't just blueberry yogurt under her lip, but that she had a fat bloody lip. Don't panic, upon further inspection she learned that it wasn't blood, it was just a little bit of the fruit bar that Harper had for supper. Aren't you embarrassed that you called CPS on us?

- My wife did some more inspecting (as all good mothers do), and found out that it wasn't a fat swollen lip at all. It was actually a chapped lip. Which is much more acceptable, for a Daddy day anyway.

- Another crucial fact: All this food on the face was AFTER I had given her a bath.

- Here is a picture of my wife applying some sort of expensive baby chap stick.

my resolve

2010-01-07T19:54:00.002-06:00

"New Years Resolution," you hear that a lot around this time of year. Unfortunately for me, I think that the word "resolve" is too ambitious. I want to accomplish things, and I am fairly ambitious. But I am also realistic. A better description for me would be: "Things that I am going to try to do, but who is kidding who, I may not accomplish."

So here are some things that in this coming year "I am going to try to do, but who is kidding who, I may not accomplish."

- Go to a Husker game. Last year I didn't go to one. I hear they are pretty fun.

- Volunteer, or work part-time in some capacity at the Mission. Thats a place that holds a special place in my heart.

- See my daughter walk... common harp, you are close!

- Finish reading a book. I could easily do this in a week. But I tend to be ambitious and pick Loooonnngg books.

- Publish a web page. Not just a blog, but a real substantive web page.

- Change the oil in my car. Not necessarily do it myself, but just get it done. This may be the year for an oil change.

- Go for a jog 40 times. This averages out to be a little less than once a week. I am a pretty big boy, this could be challenging. Little known fact: The more you run, the easier it gets.

- Be a good dad.

- Be a good husband.

- Go camping.

- Go swimming more than 3 times. I think i only went once or twice last year.

Hopefully I can be productive this year. Things don't change unless you put forth effort. But I know that some priorities(and goals) will keep me from accomplishing other goals. Eh we shall see what happens.

Ben

Bananas in pajamas... are falling down the stairs.

2010-01-06T21:59:00.002-06:00

-I fell down the stairs tonight. I didn't just trip, or stumbled.

- I fell down like 12 stairs, about 14 or so feet worth.

- It pretty much hurt. It kind of hurt my "hind end," and it absolutely hurt my shoulder.

- I fell down the stairs over Christmas. That time hurt my legs more.

- A few weeks ago, I was racing a co-worker up the stairs at work, and we ran (and then quickly slowed to a walk), past our bosses, bosses, boss. A guy you want to be professional in front of.

- I think that running up the stairs has the potential to be more painful. But it all depends on the circumstances.

Year in review.

2009-12-30T19:34:00.002-06:00

I think people try to hard when they do "year in review" posts/letters. For example: "year in review, from the perspective of my kid/pet/toaster/car/etc." So I am going to just do a list, and point out important things to me. (I added a few things from the end of last year).

November 3rd: I started a new job at a homeless shelter in Lincoln.

November 22nd: We moved from Grand Island to Lincoln

December 4th: We had our daughter Harper in Grand Island.

Marchish: Rebecca started a new job as a mom/baby nurse at Bryan LGH.

Summer: We cruised through it, Harper enjoyed being outside.

September 5th: My daughters first Husker game. (Not in person, but it was the start of something good anyway).

September 29th: I gave my notice at the mission.

October 19th: I started work at a Banking software company in Lincoln. I'd explain to you what I do, but you'd fall asleep.

October 30th: We moved to an apartment in Lincoln.

December 15th: I got an Iphone.

December 30th: Successfully did 5 months of blogging in one post.

ben

new blog

2009-07-27T07:01:00.001-05:00

I still exist.

I will continue to exist until something interacts with the vector that represents my existence.

ben

Never Drink and Derive

2009-04-14T04:39:00.002-05:00

My wife is awesome, she bought me this t-shirt for my birthday.

I wore it to work at the mission on Sunday. I got a lot of comments. Most misread "derive" as "drive."

But a few, a very notable few of the men thought it was humorous.

Of course, not everyone was taught Calculus. Especially those who are 35-55, since it wasn't apart of high school curriculum's for them as much as it is now.

Ben

Legal Troubles?

2009-04-09T07:08:00.002-05:00

I am not going to defend legalism. In fact, I don't like it.

But what I don't like, is when people attack it on false pretenses. Most don't like it because it is "mean."

I think we should not like it because it lacks substance. Yes it demands hard things, but not out of any change in heart. Ultimately it lacks the cross.

So often to react against this, we get rid of the meanness. Unfortunately that doesn't that doesn't make it any different. Whether seeker sensitive, or liberal mainline, the result is still the same. A lot of nice, a lot of fluff, but very little of what matters. Of course grace is important. Ask me on my best day, and I will tell you that I still need grace.

Both need a good ol' shot of the Cross of Jesus Christ. Balancing grace, and hard things. "Carry your cross" sort of things. But also real authentic love sort of things. We should preach the fullness of Christ always and intentionally.

April fools day!

2009-04-02T22:34:00.001-05:00

It was one year (and one day, on April 1st 2008) that I found out that I was going be a father. It was one of those days that I will remember forever. I realized that in 8 months, my life would completely change. The odd thing is that even though I knew things were going to be different, I still acknowledge that I didn't and couldn't fully understand what that would mean.

Now with a daughter who is nearly 4 months old (April 5th), I have a taste of how different my life is. But the overwhelming weight of my role as a parent is still there. But the difference is Good. Even though there are more restrictions on my life, the beauty and color that life now has makes all those restrictions worth it. Often when I reach a restriction, and I think about my daughter. Those restrictions (going to a movie, education, sleep), bring me joy because of my response.

Do I often feel overwhelmed as a parent? Yes, and that is healthy. Just as a 15 year old feels overwhelmed when going on that first drive. Its a big responsibility, and I am doing my best to take it seriously. (yes there are some things that I do take seriously).

Changes like these are well worth the weight (and the wait), and the sacrifices.

Ben

defensive confession

2009-03-28T13:41:00.003-05:00

I have a confession. I am addicted to tower defense games. Sometimes If the person who wrote the game is from the UK they spell it "tower defence."

You should try them out. They are swell!

Here are my favorites:

http://www.candystand.com/play.do?id=18281

http://www.casualcollective.com/#games/DesktopTD

Try them out!

ben

I am Ben.

2009-03-12T05:58:00.003-05:00

I saw the movie "I am Sam" for the first time a few weeks ago. Ya know, the one with Sean Penn where he is a mentally handicapped individual who works at Starbucks, has movie nights on thursdays nights, and umm... has a daughter.

I have to be honest. The act of watching someone who appears to be incapable of raising a child really made me uncomfortable. I even squirmed, kind of like when I watched the movie "Saw."

I think my uneasiness had something to do with my fear of raising a child. To be honest, I often feel lost lost and intimidated. I barely know how to take care of myself let alone some helpless being. If it weren't for my wife's help in the daily care of taking care of our kid, I don't know where I'd be. I guess she's had practice taking care of me these past few years.

Raising a child is a big task. Even though I know a lot of people who are relatively unqualified to raise a kid, I have seen people come from horrible circumstances and turn out ok. Of course, I have seen kids come from near perfect circumstances, and then crash and burn.

I guess at the end of the movie, I became more comfortable. Even though there were things that "Sam" couldn't understand. There were so many more moral issues that he understood perfectly. (The example that comes to mind is the girls frequent lying, even lying to protect her father.)

What does this mean for me and the rest of the population who have lack of confidence in their parenting abilities? It means that no matter what our Intelligence Quotient, we still have the ability to make wise moral decisions. Or the option not to.

I guess I am going to train my kids in the way of the Lord.... of the dance... (I am really tired)

Ben

Im tired.

2009-02-12T07:45:00.003-06:00

Right now I am really tired. I have been up for awhile. When I get tired I a lot of my inhibitions leave. My filter is lifted.

Sometimes this takes positive forms. An example being during night drives. I can really open my heart share deep stuff. At least what I think is deep.

This often takes negative forms as well. Like this morning at the mission. My usual friendliness has been replaced with sarcasm. And for people who are at a certain place in their life, sarcasm is not very helpful. I apologize to those that I have not been very helpful to.

Hopefully I can catch up on rest for the next few days. A big couple days. The first date with my wife since we brought home Harpsichord.

Have a good day friends!

Ben

25 random things.

2009-01-29T20:41:00.001-06:00

1. I am a husband.

2. I am a father.

3. I work at a homeless shelter.

4. I am not homeless.

5. I am a christian.

6. I have become more politically inclined as of late. Not much more, but some.

7. I did not vote for Obama.

8. I did not vote for McCain.

9. I voted on principles, as opposed to personality. When it comes down to it, both either would have, or will be horrible for this country. I say this not because of party politics, but based upon principles.

10. If you want to know what my principles are, stay tuned.

11. I love playing tower defense games. I really love them.

12. My favorite subjects in high school school were math and history.

13. I have a dog named Gatsby. We are currently separated.

14. I still would like to work for the CIA/CTU someday. I wouldn't mind contributing to the demise of a terrorist.

15. On mondays I sleep 4 hours. I do the same on wednesdays, except for every 4th Wednesday. I go at least 24 hours without sleep.

16. I meet a lot of interesting and cool people at the mission. I wish you all could meet them.

17. I think government is ineffective at handling most problems.

18. I drive a Saturn. The buttons on the CD player are sticky. A pop exploded in there a few years ago.

19. I love the tv shows, "24" the simpsons, and the office.

20. According to me, my daughter was named after Harper Lee, according to my wife her name is meaningless.

21. I like Snickers, reeses peanut butter cups, kit-kats, peanut butter m&m's, and starbursts. If I have a bad day, I like to eat a whole bag of any of these.

22. I hate small dogs. I really do. like little yippy dogs. A cat is a much better pet. Dogs must weigh at least 50lbs. I love real dogs. Especially if they are brown.

23. People's emotions and attitudes really affect me. Even if I don't act like they do. Sometimes I have to make a conscious effort not to empathize to much. I don't have a problem with showing too much sympathy.

24. I really like Apple products. Macbooks, ipods, imacs, iphones etc. Hopefully I will get an iphone this year. Its the Christmas present I am still waiting on.

25. On particular issues that I believe in I am extremely idealistic. This doesn't come from me being stubborn, but out of my passion for purity.

ive seen 125 out of 239 films

2009-01-17T09:55:00.004-06:00

I am sorry for a lack of substance in a post. Things are well, we have a kid, live in lincoln, and am diving into the wonderful world of mathematics.

Real updates will come eventually.

Ben

If you've seen over 85 films, you have no life. Mark the ones you've seen. There are 239 films on this list. Copy this list, go to your own Facebook account, paste this as a note. Then, put x's next to the films you've seen, add them up, change the header adding your number, and click post at the bottom. Have fun.

( ) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest
( x) Boondock Saints
(x ) Fight Club
(x) Starsky and Hutch
() Neverending Story
() Blazing Saddles
( x) Airplane
Total: 8

(x) The Princess Bride
(x) AnchorMan
(X ) Napoleon Dynamite
( ) Labyrinth
( x) Saw
( ) Saw II
( ) White Noise
( ) White Oleander
( x) Anger Management
(x) 50 First Dates
(x) The Princess Diaries
(x ) The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
Total so far: 14

(x) Scream
(x) Scream 2
( ) Scream 3
( x) Scary Movie
( ) Scary Movie 2
( ) Scary Movie 3
( ) Scary Movie 4
(x) American Pie
( x) American Pie 2
( ) American Wedding
( ) American Pie Band Camp
Total so far: 19

(x) Harry Potter 1
(x) Harry Potter 2
(x) Harry Potter 3
(x) Harry Potter 4
() Harry Potter 5
( ) Resident Evil 1
( ) Resident Evil 2
(x) The Wedding Singer
() Little Black Book
( ) The Village
( x) Lilo & Stitch
Total so far: 25

(x) Finding Nemo
() Finding Neverland
( x) Signs
(x) The Grinch
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
( ) White Chicks
( ) Butterfly Effect
(X) 13 Going on 30
( x) I, Robot
() Robots
Total so far: 30

(x ) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
( ) Universal Soldier
() Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
(X ) Along Came Polly
(X) Deep Impact
(x ) KingPin
(x) Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
(x) Meet the Fockers
( ) Eight Crazy Nights
(x ) Joe Dirt
( x) KING KONG
Total so far: 39

() A Cinderella Story
(X) The Terminal
() The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( ) Passport to Paris
(x) Dumb & Dumber
( ) Dumber & Dumberer
( ) Final Destination
( ) Final Destination 2
( ) Final Destination 3
( ) Halloween
(x) The Ring
( ) The Ring 2
( ) Surviving X-MAS
(X ) Flubber
Total so far: 43

(x) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
(x ) Practical Magic
() Chicago
( ) Ghost Ship
( ) From Hell
( ) Hellboy
( ) Secret Window
() I Am Sam
( x) The Whole Nine Yards
( ) The Whole Ten Yards
Total so far: 46

(x ) The Day After Tomorrow
(x ) Child's Play
( ) Seed of Chucky
( x) Bride of Chucky
(x) Ten Things I Hate About You
( x) Just Married
() Gothika
() Nightmare on Elm Street
() Sixteen Candles
(x ) Remember the Titans
() Coach Carter
( ) The Grudge
( ) The Grudge 2
(x) The Mask
( ) Son Of The Mask
Total so far: 53

(x ) Bad Boys
( ) Bad Boys 2
( ) Joy Ride
( ) Lucky Number Slevin
(x) Ocean's Eleven
(x) Ocean's Twelve
(x) Bourne Identity
(x) Bourne Supremecy
( ) Lone Star
( ) Bedazzled
( ) Predator I
( ) Predator II
( ) The Fog
( x) Ice Age
(X) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
( ) Curious George
Total so far: 60

(x) Independence Day
( ) Cujo
( ) A Bronx Tale
( ) Darkness Falls
() Christine
() ET
( ) Children of the Corn
() My Bosses Daughter
(X) Maid in Manhattan
(X) War of the Worlds
(X ) Rush Hour
(X ) Rush Hour 2
Total so far: 65

( ) Best Bet
(x) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
( x) She's All That
() Calendar Girls
(x) Sideways
() Mars Attacks
( ) Event Horizon
(x) Ever After
(x) Wizard of Oz
(x) Forrest Gump
( ) Big Trouble in Little China
() The Terminator
() The Terminator 2
() The Terminator 3
Total so far: 71

(x) X-Men
(X ) X-2
(x ) X-3
(X) Spider-Man
(X) Spider-Man 2
() Sky High
( ) Jeepers Creepers
( ) Jeepers Creepers 2
(x ) Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Little Mermaid
(X) Freaky Friday
( x) Reign of Fire
(x ) The Skulls
(x ) Cruel Intentions
( ) Cruel Intentions 2
( ) The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2
Total so far: 84

( ) Swimfan
(X) Miracle on 34th street
(x ) Old School
(x ) The Notebook
( ) K-Pax
() Krippendorf's Tribe
(x) A Walk to Remember
( ) Ice Castles
( ) Boogeyman
(x ) The 40-year-old Virgin
Total so far: 89

(x ) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
(x ) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
( x) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
(x) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
(X) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
(X) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Total so far: 95

( ) Baseketball
( ) Hostel
(x ) Waiting for Guffman
( ) House of 1000 Corpses
( ) Devils Rejects
(X) Elf
(X) Highlander
( ) Mothman Prophecies
(x ) American History X
( ) Three
Total so Far: 99

( ) The Jacket
(X ) Kung Fu Hustle
( ) Shaolin Soccer
( ) Night Watch
(X) Monsters Inc.
(x) Titanic
(x ) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
(x ) Shaun Of the Dead
( ) Willard
Total so far: 103

( ) High Tension
( ) Club Dread
(X ) Hulk
( ) Dawn Of the Dead
(X) Hook
(X) Chronicles Of Narnia The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
(x ) 28 days later
( ) Orgazmo
( ) Phantasm
(X ) Waterworld
Total so far: 108

( x) Kill Bill vol 1
( x) Kill Bill vol 2
( ) Mortal Kombat
( ) Wolf Creek
(X ) Kingdom of Heaven
( ) The Hills Have Eyes
( ) I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
( ) The Last House on the Left
( ) Re-Animator
( x) Army of Darkness
Total so far: 112

(x) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
(x) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
(x ) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
(x) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
(x) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
(x) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
() Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
() Ewoks The Battle For Endor
Total so far:118

(x ) The Matrix
( x) The Matrix Reloaded
( x) The Matrix Revolutions
( ) Animatrix
( ) Evil Dead
( ) Evil Dead 2
(x ) Team America: World Police
(x) Red Dragon
(x ) Silence of the Lambs
( x) Hannibal
Total so far: 125

Now Add them up and...

Put "I've seen 'number' out of 239 films" in the subject line and repost it...

loud sleeper

2008-12-17T04:44:00.002-06:00

-People make funny noises when they sleep. This is a fact.

-Most common is snoring. Some are really loud. I mean really loud. A few guys have reptuations for their snoring. That is what happens when 130 guys share living quarters. You pick up on stuff like that.

-Sleep noises are no longer cute. When your spouse has a slight snore when s/he is sick, you can give a slight smile and oooh and awe at how you live him/her. When my daughter snores her infant snores, my wife and I stand back and admire her innocence.

-Innocence is no longer an applicapable term for some people.

-SOme people are loud. A guy the other night kept yelling in his sleep. The guys who slept around him made this gentleman leave. He then tried to sleep near where my office is located. Every 5 minutes he would start violently yelling and rolling on the ground. As soon as I would wake him up, he would apologize for the distraction. This repeated 5 or 6 times. It was kind of weird.

-A lot of people fart in their sleep. And cough. And yawn. A lot of old man sounds. Its kind of like nature sounds cds, or enya. Except a little different.

Ben

I work at a homeless shelter.

2008-11-25T09:46:00.002-06:00

Matt 25:31-46

I work at the People's City Mission in Lincoln Nebraska.

I am no Saint. I am not very special. I don't want to be exalted or raised up because I am such a killer Christian. I am just a guy.

I also don't work in a Mission because I just read a Brian McLaren book. I am soaked up in middle/upper class christian guilt. I don't believe that the gospel should be expressed socially. I believe that it should be expressed with fullness (context), and as succinctly as possible. No post-modern rabbit trails down social justice.

I promise that I won/don't write stories from the mission to brag or to look cool. Because its not that cool. I just do my best to make it cool, and to see God's hand at work.

I believe that I am uniquely positioned in the mission to gain a more full perspective on humanity. Including sin and its affects on a human soul. And of course Grace and how it invokes a response from those who receive it (sheep vs. goats).

I also like people. I like making friends. I also find a deep satisfaction in practicing empathy. But only for the purpose of life transformation.

I like liking my job.

Ben

Old Friends

2008-11-19T13:18:00.003-06:00

I am going to be relying on the help of friends and family for the next while.

Id rather help people than be helped. I think its ok to ask and receive help. Its humbling.

I wish more people would ask for help. Even if its something small. But also especially if its something big. I am willing to help.

home is where the heart is

2008-11-08T23:28:00.003-06:00

I now work at a homeless shelter. It is great fun.

The first night I expected that I would get beat up and abused. I expected to be verbally harassed.

Instead, by the 2nd or 3rd night, I found the homeless to be quite friendly and warm. Very grateful for the opportunity to get back on their feet.

Don't be mislead, these people are expected to take personal responsibility.

One thing that I was shocked at was the diversity in who they voted for on Nov. 4th. I expected all of these people to be fans of Obama. But it was probably about 40-60, with a majority for Obama.

I think I will appreciate the work here. After working for the past 3 months in a non-church. Its weird to be back working in a Christian environment. WHats my role? Umm everything, I am caregiver, chaplain, social worker, homeless guy waker upper (alarm clock), caseworker, spiritual guide etc. My official title is "Men Shelter supervisor/Advocate" Its great fun.

Ben

rain drops keep falling on my head

2008-11-02T02:58:00.002-06:00

Rain drops keep falling on my head.

Luckily they dry. I would have to say that even when the rain drops were the biggest, or extremely frequent. That they dry.

I would even go as far as to say that even though some rain drops contain some sort of weird chemical goo, and will never dry and always stick on your head, you begin to appreciate its presence.

There are always weird chemical goo's around. I don't think we should be surprised by their presence. Even though we are annoyed by them, we show grow from their existence. Don't mistake my meaning, I don't believe that we should accomodate weird chemical goo. I do however feel that weird chemical goo shouldn't dictate our existence.

We should accept the presence of weird chemical goo. We should move beyond acceptance and grow from its existence. Our lives should attain a higher ideal, not because of the weird chemical goo, but we should attain because that is what we ought do.

(Sometimes I like how my blog posts start from nothing, and then become something. They often remind me of a Calvin & Hobbes strip)

Ben

Joe the plumber.

2008-10-16T16:41:00.002-05:00

Joe the plumber was discussed in depth last night during the debate. He would like to purchase a plumb. Barack Obama wouldn't let him go through with this purchase. So he tattle-tailed to his dad, who happened to be John McCain. Unfortunately Sarah Palin was killing a moose while taking care of 5 kids, she couldn't be reached for comment. As far as Joe Biden goes, he was locked in a closet by the Obama campaign. Hopefully he didn't say anything stupid in there. Well, we know he did. Lets just hope no one heard him. Hopefully all these shenanigans will boost the economy.

BTW: That last paragraph was typed to boost my google search results hits. I tried to make it somewhat humorous.

Ben

the mighty ducks

2008-10-13T00:08:00.003-05:00

I went to a hockey game friday night with middle school youth group kids. It was pretty fun. I really like those kids.

During the 1st intermission, they had a "throw hockey pucks onto a bulls eye and win something from viaero wireless" well someone who was sitting several rows behind me tried to throw their puck, and didn't make it. Because they hit me in the side of the face with their puck. I figured I had earned the puck, and went to look for it on the ground so I could take it home and put it on my shelf. But some 4 year nearby was running and picked it up. Even though I was hazily stumbling around, I practice discernment and decided against stealing from a small child.

Have you ever noticed the advertising at sporting events? I went to a Husker game a few weeks back (Go Huskers!), and it was nothing compared to what I saw at the Tri-city Storm game. I think I heard the announcer say the words "viaero wireless" every 15 seconds. I believe that he said it in the middle of announcing a players name.

My favorite was the renaming of the penalty box to the "ABC seamless sin-bin" if I need new gutters, I will probably give ABC seamless a call. I mean, the Tri-City storm DID win on friday.

I don't hold this against central nebraska, and I still think that the Tri-City storm put on a good show, but the atmosphere and intensity doesn't compare to that of the Ice box while the Lincoln Stars are playing.

Ben

nebraska

2008-10-05T13:27:00.003-05:00

The only thing that gets me excited about living in Nebraska is Nebraska football.

The days after we lose games, people are always quiet.

I was at Arby's after church. They gave us an extra sandwich. I went up to the assistant manager, and told her. She grabbed the sandwich as if to read the labeling.

She apologized for the mistake. She started to take a step away. And I asked "Are you just going to throw it away?" She said "yes." I asked if she had to do that, and if there was a way to not throw it away. She said she had to throw it away.

I walked away with a sick feeling in my stomach.

Kind of like when Nebraska loses 52-17.

ben

because i dont want to blog about life

2008-09-18T23:39:00.004-05:00

I dont want to blog about life. I like to keep a mixture of seriousness and light heartedness on my blog. I have had too much seriousness lately.

So I am going to do something that makes me feel better. Make fun of christians.

As someone who has read all the harry potter books, and I did NOT try to turn a stick into a flashlight by saying "lumos," and I am still a Christian. I can say I found that image hilarious.

Ben

Dont hate me because I am right.

explicit

2008-09-13T00:08:00.003-05:00

I have made intentionally vague and guarded references to this subject.

I am not going to seminary this fall. (obvious right? because classes started 3 weeks ago).

I may never go. I am ok with that. There are more important things than vocational success.

I feel it is much more important and pertinent to live up to certain ideals in my life.

You may ask "much more important than the ideal of proclaming the gospel through ministry?"

Ministry isn't a goal, its a life style. My qualifications for changing the world don't hinge on me having a seminary education.

My qualifications are based upon the truth affecting my soul, and the outpouring of that change to my family, friends, and those I come into contact with.

Ben

obedience

2008-09-08T21:53:00.002-05:00

One of my favorite bible stories is that of Abraham and Isaac.

I desire such obedience.

To follow my God with such devotion and submission that I am willing to sacrifice the one thing(s) that I love oh so dearly.

God is love. But love sometimes is sanctification through submission. And sanctification often does not feel anything like love.

Christianity is submission.

Ben

Run the Race marked out for you

2008-08-28T22:30:00.002-05:00

Race is a very interesting thing. Red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in his sight... You know the song.

Why are people prejudice? I don't know why. Because they feel inferior? Because Hitler knew that he couldn't beat Jessie owen in a race? Or is it because of differences?

These differences extend beyond skin colour (british). Culture is a huge part of it.

I see this observing the Hispanic workers and the white workers at my job. They nearly always work together. But people separate out at key times.

1. In the cars. We carpool to Hastings (from GI), the white folks always are in one van, while the hispanic guys are in the other. this is probably because of language or something. Or radio. Which is also heavily influenced by language.

2. During lunch. The white guys all scatter in groups of 1-3. THey pretty much eat lunch alone. The hispanic guys (and the one african american guy on our crew, and myself) all eat under a tree in the shade. Part of this is language.

I think there is a bigger reason for this. When the white guys split up, they divide by approximate age. They go off with people their own age, or they are alone. The hispanics ALL sit together. And they are all talking together in conversation. I don't understand the conversation, except for their broken english, which is what they want me to hear.

American culture quickly separates itself. along lines. Politics, religion, Fat, age, gender, income level, etc. The hispanics were all together, and all talking. No matter who was better or worse.

I hope people don't hate me for pointing out why white people suck. Or maybe not suck... we just have a weird quirk that isn't fair to ourselves.

Neither Greek nor Jew... (gal 3:28, col 3:11)

Ben Reis

from yale to jail.

2008-08-27T20:49:00.002-05:00

I heard my coworkers talking about how one of them was going to Yale. This is odd for a construction worker. Not very many of them make the mid career leap to an ivy league school. He said he was going next year because of a probation violation. Hmmpf, a guy who is trying to get turned around messed up. Now he has to wait. So it goes.

I have literally been mulling this around for a week. I even bragged about it to friends. "Construction worker turned Yale student."

I asked him about it yesterday. Apparently he isn't going to Yale.

He was talking to some hispanic fellows. Apparently they can't pronounce "J's" So Jail, becomes Yale.

It makes sense that a probation violation would send someone to Jail.

Ben

south dakota

2008-08-11T12:34:00.002-05:00

I went to South Dakota with middle students, a mom, and a Buffalo.

We met another Buffalo on the trip, he was the alpha male. Our Buffalo used to be an alpha wolf.

I will blog more on this later.

Oh and I finished reading "Young, Restless, and Reformed" by Collin Hansen. Good stuff.

Ben

Pirate baby

2008-07-26T12:53:00.005-05:00

Well folks good news, I am not sterile. So in your face people who were my middle school peers who made "those jokes." You all know what "those jokes" are, they are not polite to repeat in this forum.

Up until thursday when we had our 20/21 week ultrasound, I had little or no affirmation that my wife was actually pregnant. All of the physical symptoms that she exhibited morning sickness, eating food, wanting to buy new clothes, are stuff that either her or myself had done before. I may have not thrown up continually every morning, and I may not have gone through 40 toaster struddel pastries in a month, but still those are things people do: puke, eat, and buy.

I also didn't understand the movements of the baby from within her. Every time it would kick I would be skeptical. To be honest, there are times when I have eaten the wrong food, and I have felt movements from within. For example. Wednesday night I ordered 3 small pizzas from dominos ($4 X 3 = good deal), and all ive eaten since thursday night is pizza. And well all that pizza causes weird movements within.

But when I saw the ultrasound I saw our baby move and wiggle like its nobodies business. It made me think that it was a future Seward Bluejay/Columbus discoverer/Grand Island Islander/Lincoln East Spartan/or wherever else we will be living when our kids enter high school. It was a very great moment to sit there watch the lady rub "Goo" all over my wifes stomach, and see the baby on the screen move its arms and legs, and then frustrate the ultrasound tech by flipping over. It made me get excited about all the stuff I was giving up (seminary, cruises to the Baja peninsula, european missionary stints, nights of sleep). I am excited because its all going to be worth it.

Is it just me or does this look like a skull? A pirate baby?

over and out.

Ben

Missions and conquerers

2008-07-16T22:02:00.003-05:00

- I was a political science major in college. Most of the time, people discussed with the basic assumption that government and its actions has a significant influence in a persons life. Sometimes this is true. As a Pastor/intern/dude, my assumption has always been different. The most significant influence on a persons life is spiritual (we can discuss this later).

- In the 17th century Spanish and Portuguese missions to the "new world" was very political. They would use a variety of political means that resulted in conversions. Some of these used their military political might (Hernando Cortez). Some of these missionaries used their unique western cultural influence to gain favor with the leaders (Matthew Ricci). There were many others who through some form or another used either hard or soft influence to gain influence in their culture. If the culture (either through the people themselves, or through their leadership), is pro-christian, it makes missions/conversion very easier. It was very much a top first, then bottom approach.

- This is different than the protestant approach of the 18th century. Pioneered by William Carey, the approach was bottom first. The idea was to understand the culture (language, social structure, artifacts of value etc), with avoiding syncretism (adopting pagan practices). The grasped culture is then trained through teaching. Those who are trained are encouraged to do the work of evangelism and discipleship within their own culture. This provides a much more "organic" feel to missions. People trust their own, and are more likely to respond.

There are of course downfalls to both approaches. A ruler who is in power is likely to waver at some point. Or, when there is a change in power, the religion can easily change. Also, some dislike the idea of conversion by sword. The second approach has downfalls also. The spread of christianity can become warped at some point. Leaders who are relative young can run into the same issues that Paul warns about in 1 TIm 3 concerning recent converts. Straying to immaturity and heresy can easily happen. Outsiders who understand the culture must continue to provide leadership and wisdom.

What about America? At one point 300-400 years ago we were very pro-christian. Granted our founding fathers were not all explicity christians, or what scripture would consider to be Christian (Jefferson was a deist (GASP!)). Take that to our present time. We have free access to religion. I would consider our government and our culture to not necessarily be pro-christian. Many times I would consider both to anti-christian.

How does this change our approach to state-side ministry? We have lost influence with Political leaders (RIP Falwell), we don't have influence among the thinkers anymore. Should we consider the bottom up approach? Emergent dudes, and those who advocate the "small group" model for churches would think so.

I guess I am hesitant. I am VERY pro training and equipping the laity. Whether this is to teach, to evangelize, or to help with the parking lot ministry (don't ask). I am just concerned because with the fickleness of our culture, it is very easy for people to abandon their commitments. OR to let their personal ministry stray into the waters of heresy. I just believe we have to take discipleship very seriously. So seriously that we are cautious as to who we equip. This sounds judgmental, this sounds contrary to the friendly sort of Christianity that we are used to. But we already see this. This is much like seminary's and ordination processes. They only allow certain people through. If one still also disagrees, they should take a reading of 1 & 2 Timothy and Titus. Scripture has plenty of comments about the qualifications of leaders.

Ben

we are worth less

2008-07-15T21:07:00.002-05:00

These people seem to think that we are worth less.

What is a human life worth? Apparently the EPA thinks it is worth $6.9 million. Wait a minute... I thought a human life was invaluable? As a pro-lifer, I view any human life as invaluable. A pro-choicer would view the value of a human life as being variable. Depending on if it is wanted or not. I guess the average between priceless and sometimes not having any valuable is 6.9 million.

I know the baby that stork is bring to my wifes tummy in 4.5 months is worth a lot. I would say that the baby is priceless. The medical bills of course indicate that there is a quantifiable price. Not to mention the costs of raising the kid.

All of this makes me wish that I would have chosen a different major in college.

But the bible tells me that you cannot serve both God and money. Money is required to live, but money should not get in the way of our eyes on God. Focus on possession causes a darkness within.

Ben

context

2008-07-06T13:56:00.004-05:00

- Rebecca and I spent a lot of time with family the past few weeks. 4th of July and weddings have that effect.

- I keep getting the question of "do you know what you are doing this fall yet?" Unfortunately often I am asked that question without the context of perspective on all the issues I am sifting through. I know people care, and I know family and friends have vested interests me and my family.

- Something I've learned in developing "sermons," and listening to several a week, is that I hate not having context. A context of the text, and context for a persons situation.

- A cursory glance at our culture one could observe that we often compartmentalize different part of our lives. For example, its normal to separate church from work, friends from family, etc.

- For me, the questions concerning the future, and the answers dealing with such, are related to everything that is going on in my life. I am talking beyond just my wife and our "love child." ( I hope my first born enjoys my sense of humor) I am talking about everything.

- This makes having these interactions with friends/family very difficult. I am more than willing to discuss the entirety of my life. I am very transparent, sometimes to transparent. But usually people don't want that, which is fine. I don't want to force my life on people. Sometimes its not conducive to have long conversations.

Ben

I'm having a baby.

2008-06-27T13:06:00.002-05:00

- Well folks its true. I am having a baby.

- I guess I am not going to carry and deliver, my wife is doing that.

- The picture above is of a 16 week baby (I don't like the word 'fetus,' it strikes up images of destroying fetus's in gruesome ways) Its not a picture of our baby. Our baby is just a little bit bigger than an apple. I don't like fruit very much. But I like the fruit growing in my wife's tummy. Our due date is December 6th.

What does this do for Rebecca and I's future plans? It changes them. It changes everything. The world takes on a different hue. Colors, words, actions, decisions, friends, jobs, schooling, even church, have taken a step back in their order of importance.

- I can not, and do not think the same way I did 4 months ago when Rebecca and I painfully (and joyously) decided to apply to seminary. My motivations for going are not the same either. The grandiose idea of seminary education enlightening my mind and transforming my soul kind of has to take on a different form. A form that is rigid, and practical. Example: I must study A, to prepare me to do B.

- We've gone back and forth. We found out about the baby, and seminary on the same day. April 1st, April fools day, no joke! For the first month or so we processed and internalized this huge life step. Then for about 6 weeks we were in the "There's no way we are going to move to Chicago and go to school." But this past month or so has been different.

- As of right now we are planning on going to school. Its scary to think about. Do you know who else is scary? Scarecrows!

I guess I've been in a process of deepening my faith. I am trusting that the scarecrows aren't real things. And they are meant to scare me away.

I have also learned that children are a blessing.

ben

who reads this?

2008-06-16T23:05:00.003-05:00

- I know people read this. I know its not just robots from google because people actually "clixk things"

- I am really curious as to who reads this. I think my mom and my wife do. I am also pretty sure my friend Mark reads this, as does the buffalo. YP Cereal and my mother in law also read this. Also, so does this slave guy, and sarah.

- Who else? If you comment, you dont have to say your name, maybe just mark a tally. Or describe yourself and why you read (ok i know thats asking for a lot). Part of this may help me in deciding a direction for this blog.

- What google search led you here?

- I bet it was "annoying people," or "church and cynicism," hopefully it wasn't "christian postmodernism." If it were the last one, I think I need to mix up my subject matter a little bit.

Ben

Dear Alltel

2008-06-16T21:28:00.002-05:00

Hi Alltel,

-Its me ben, you know me, I pay my bill every month. Ive signed contracts for you, and ive even paid full price via insurance for phones (high mark-up/big profit)

- Just wanted to let you know how things are going. Its been several months since we've had our issues. These past few months have been really good for our relationship. I have been relatively happy with my service, and biggest of all, no surprises in my bill.

- But things haven't always been so nice between us. Last Fall and winter, we were on the verge of divorce. Yes its true, I looked for loop holes to get out of paying the $200 X 2 ETF (Early Termination Fee). I even considered paying the $400, just to get away from you.

- I had many surprises in my bills. A couple that made the $400 for ETF look small.

- Things would have been great if things would have gotten fixed after the first bill. Or if my service would have only gotten disconnected once.

- But it took several months for me to get my bill straight. You even apologized multiple times for my service WRONGLY getting turned off.

- Alltel right now you are still on thin ice. Im glad you are getting bought out by Verizon. I wish it would finalize today, instead of having to wait until December.

- Right now when I move to Chicago this fall, a 3g Iphone is looking very attractive. Sure they may have problems too, but I don't have such a muddied past with them.

- You better take care of this guy too. Men of the cloth are important.

- Get your act together, especially since you are joining your big CDMA brother that is Verizon.

Ben

twitter and little people big world

2008-06-14T00:05:00.003-05:00

So I am on twitter now.

-I dont really know what it is all about.

- I guess its this thing called micro blogging.

- Its probably not these guys typing away at their blogs, but they could be.

- My twitter name is "benjaminreis" that is also my real name.

- You can also call me "super cool guy." Its a camp nickname that never caught on. They even made me a shirt so it would catch on, similar to this guy.

- I really like the roloffs. They are good people. I think if I lived where they lived, I would be friends with them. Hopefully I wouldn't be the creepy guy that shows up at their house all the time. (Check the link above for the roloffs)

Ben

take a shot at gas prices

2008-06-06T19:00:00.004-05:00

- Did you know gas prices have been rising? Its true, they have.

- Today at Hy-Vee (grocery store) they were offering 5 cents off a gallon, plus an additional 5, 10, or 20 cents off if you can make a basketball shot. They also offered "challenges" where someone would take a shot, and then another guy would shoot from the same spot. If you made it, and he missed, you'd win a 24 pack of water. Rebecca really likes bottled water.

- I decided to give it a whirl. I like to save money, especially on gas.

- When I stepped up, the guy asked me my name. He then said that i was going to be a challenge.

- I took my shot, and made it. Then the guy who I was challenging took his shot. He made it. Boo!

- I decided to take a shot from the 10 cents off line. I missed my first shot. Boo!

- I then prepped for me next shot. I looked up, aligned my shoulders, and released. It hit the right rim. The ball bounced up, and spin towards the backboard. It shifted directions from the backboard to the left rim, then rolled along the edge of the rim in the hoop.

- Woo hoo! I just saved 15 cents a gallon. Rebecca said she was proud of me.

Ben

scheming pyramids

2008-05-29T21:08:00.002-05:00

- I bet most of you at some point in your life have had someone proposition your for an "exciting new business opportunity."

- Yeah, am way, and Quixstar are what I am talking about. They are technically not Pyramid Schemes, but in form they essentially are.

- What I get frustrated about is false promises, and seeing good people get confused between potential and sure reward from hard work. Sure people make money, I know these people. It works for them, but most people I know don't make anything. These people however are always "6 months away from making it big."

- I also get frustrated by their tactics. I hate the emptiness I feel after someone who is a friend of a friend calls me randomly. These people are usually very upbeat, and have just enough trivia facts about me to start up a conversation:

Quixstar dude: "hey Ben this is some guy you don't really know, but I am friends with someone you kind of know. You accidently gave them your phone number at generic social event once."

ME: "Yeah I know that guy sort of..."
QD: "Well I hear that your a youth pastor or something like that, would you ever be interested in a business opportunity that is on the cutting edge?"
ME: "I guess i am always striving to be 'cutting edge.'"
QD: "Would you like to make some extra spending money?"
ME: "Umm... sure." (everyone always likes money)
QD: "The company is called 'Extreme cutting edge leadership now.'"
ME: "Hey wait a minute... you used 2 adjectives to describe 'Leadership.' Is this affiliated with Quixstar?"
QD: "Yeah, but its not what you think..."

Thats usually the gist of the conversation. I usually am not so naive, and much more polite.

- I also hate getting approached in public. LIke in a retail store. I Especially hate when people pretend to be my friend. I also hate this about salesman at Best Buy. A little piece of me dies when I walk into a retail store and someone acts all buddy buddy with me.

- I think I would go crazy if I were in a big box retail store and were simultaneously solicited for Quixstar, and being sold a new digital camera.

Ben

10 favorite films

2008-05-26T17:15:00.002-05:00

I would Like to thank Chris Day for the tag.

The rules of the “game” are simple:
1. list your top ten favorite films (in no particular order).
2. if you’re tagged, you’ve got to post and tag 3-5 other people.
3. give a tag back (some link love) to the one who tagged you in your post
4. give a hat tip (HT) to Dan

So here we go… My Top Ten Favorite Films (in no particular order):

1. Kill Bill /reservoir dogs

2. Shawshank Redemption

3. Pirates of the Caribbean (trilogy)

4. Indiana Jones (trilogy +1)

5. waynes world (both)

6. Bourne Identity (trilogy)

7. Luther

8. American Beauty

9. Donnie Darko

10. The count of monte Cristo

I stress that these are in no particular order. I also stress that this list is not exclusive. For me to pour through the long list of films I have seen in my life that have affected me, and mean something to me, that could take hours. I also want to note that I am not responsible for the content of these films. Most of them are not appropriate for everyone (even me). I am not going to defend myself, or encourage others in watching naughty movies. atleast not in this forum right now. Kids (those who still live with their parents), obey your parents.

Also note that I like trilogies and sequels. I like to relive characters, and those characters interacting in new environments. So if Jason Bourne, Martin Luther, and Jack Sparrow unite to conquer the Prison Warden from Shawshank, and anyone of the Characters from Resevoir dogs, I'd wait in line for months to see that film.

Note that Star wars and Lord of the Rings are not on this list. I always have been a casual fan of these films. Yeah, I went to midnight showings for most of these films. But eh, sometimes I go just to hang out with friends.

I tag: Steve, Buffalo, Mark, and Phil.

Ben

Edumacation

2008-05-23T18:03:00.004-05:00

Is education overrated?

This is a complicated question. Depending on your answer you can offend a lot of people. If you say that education is overrated. You may offend people who have spend many laborious years furthering their education. If you say that education is essential to a persons existence. You may offend people who have chosen not to pursue further education.

Whats my answer? I do not know. Two months ago I felt very strongly about education. I thought that it was the most important thing in my life that I could be pursuing. I felt that if I did not go off to TEDS for school, that I would be disobedient. I saw education as a way to further develop an area of my life that I am very passionate about. I was hoping that Seminary would ground me, make me more stable, deepen my understanding of scripture, of faith, and my life around me. Rebecca and I were both convinced that we MUST move to northern Illinois.

Now things have greatly changed.

Life happens. My existence has a new purpose. It was never about me. This is true. I get this confused at times. Through life circumstances God is teaching me about priorities.

I am Ben, a am a paradox. I have thought I had answers. Now I feel confused. But I know the answers lie in submission to things that are not of myself. I guess the correct answers are in front of me. I am pursing them. Complete selflessness is impossible. But sacrifices I make reflect my heart. Right now my heart is filled with Kara (Joy). This joy and faithfulness will make me more effective at proclamation of scripture.

Ben

PS more detail specifics to come later.

the distance between heart and head

2008-05-01T14:22:00.004-05:00

I could cite thousands of examples from what I see in my own life that would demonstrate our cultures disengagement of the brain. After a bit the list would get redundant and the readers (and me the writer) would begin to shut down our brain and flip over to some nice website with bright colors and games. So I will refrain whining about the fallen world.

For myself personally its better to frame these discussion within the Christian realm. Reading in 2 Peter this morning I came across "For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins." 2 Peter 1:5-9

I find it interesting that we are to add to our faith goodness and knowledge. Most would not dispute at some level that a christian needs to turn from a sinful lifestyle and be "good." You ask christian friend "A" how christian friend "B" is and their response most likely would involve a struggle with goodness. But isn't there more to goodness than just the word good. Its a loaded word, and we need to know what our standard of good is. Which is why immediately following "goodness" we have the qualifier of "knowledge." We have to know how it is that we should act and behave. Why when we ask "A" how "B" is doing we usually don't get a perspective on theological issues they are wrestling over?

Asking if someone is good is like asking "hey are you on my team." Yes or no answer. But why don't we ask "do you align with the principles and values that represent our team?" Well we don't ask that because its kind of nerdy. But it has more implications than "do you represent general good?" When we find out where people are at with their definition of "good" we find out much more about them. More importantly we find out where they are headed.

Of course after knowledge we have the qualifier of "self-control." We must know, but we need to limit our view points. We can't accept just any view point. Some ideas are truth, and ideas carry significant negative consequence. (like nazism to be extreme, or a human centered understanding of the gospel)

All of these qualifiers in this section of scripture can be related to one another. I chose the first few.

It is important to have goodness and knowledge. verse 8 says: "For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ."

These are areas we need to grow in. IF we are not increasing in measure, we will slip into becoming ineffective and unproductive. As someone who is called to ministry. I take these very seriously. This is why I have become so contemplative lately, this is why I pray, read scripture. This is also why I am heading to school this fall.

Ben

random package.

2008-04-28T00:43:00.003-05:00

- A Directv box randomly showed up on our doorstep.

- It was one of those boxes that people send you so you can put a pre-paid sticker on it to return stuff to the company.

- It was addressed to the people who lived here before us.

- They don't live here anymore.

- I don't know what to do about the box. What if it has multiple hundred dollar bills in it?

- I know what I should do with it, take it back to fed-ex and do a return to sender/these people don't live here anymore thing.

- I am choosing the path of least resistance. Which seems to be just letting it sit by our door in the living room.

- These sort of reminds me of the movie "Castaway" except with much more drama. And no volleyball.

Ben

running

2008-04-14T15:46:00.002-05:00

- Good news folks, Ive decided that I have gotten fat enough. I was unsure up until about last week. I tried on a shirt that I wore for one acts in high school that used to be my "lose army shirt."

- This shirt was no longer as such. It was tight. Rebecca who is the always reaffirming awesome wife said its because my shoulders must have gotten broader. This is true, but not the whole truth.

- With this new found revelation of fatness I have decided to start up a more consistent exercise routine. Which is basically running just under a mile 5 days a week.

- I could kill myself and run longer distances, but I wouldn't run very well(lots of stopping and restarting), and if the running is an unpleasureable experience, I wont do it very often.

- So if the mile path I have paved for another week, I will bump it up to 2 miles. My goal is to lose weight, feel fit, not hurt my shins (this is a big one, ive had major issues with shin splints in the past), and to get a tan.

Do any of you have any running strategies?

Ben

Birthday and burger king

2008-04-12T13:51:00.003-05:00

It was my birthday Yesterday.

- Birthdays get weirder and weirder.

- Next year Ill be able to rent a car without paying a ton of money.

- Saw anberlin. They were good.

- Tried to find Mr. Goodcents in hastings. Apparently after driving around for half an hour of where the map said it should be, we found out it closed.

- We went to Burger King instead. They still don't have a spicy tendercrisp. They are on the outs with me until they bring it back.

- When they bring it back, either as a Firecracker, or even just carry packets of chipotle sauce. I think I will personally boycott the company.

ben

april fools day

2008-04-04T17:14:00.003-05:00

- Ive heard of some good april fools day pranks lately.

- On tuesday morning a student from youth group called me.

- He seemed panicky. He told me his younger brother had gotten in a 4 wheeler accident. He said his brothers legs were crushed and he wondered if I would go with him to visit his brother after school.

- I of course said "yes." I then asked what room he was in so I could visit him that morning.

- He told me to go up to the front desk and that they would say to me: " April Fools!"

- Another one.

- Last night at greek class, a guy told a story that was better than that.

- A pregnant lady and her husband were in wal mart. Another lady comes up to her and asks her to take a birth control test for her. This new lady was non-pregnant. Which is why she enlisted the help of the pregnant lady.

- Her husband was in for a very shocking april fools day.

ben

My excellent TEDS adventure

2008-03-17T01:02:00.002-05:00

- Rebecca and I visited Chicago last week. We left Sunday after church and returned to home in GI at 4 am wednesday morning.

- We didn't see wicked or the blue man group. And we didn't eat at giordanos either.

- We did visit a wonderful magic place with fairies and gum drops falling from the sky. Yep you guessed it, we visited Trinity Evangelical divinity school

- My visit was awesome. I expected to see a lot of hairy 35 year old men who walked around twiddling their thumbs and mumbling to themselves. Or like at UNL the 40 year olds in classes who try to be social with 19 year olds. Pretty awkward. Or the 23 year olds who came straight over from Wheaton or some lesser known christian college and have never actually been in ministry and talked to anyone else about their faith except for other christians pursuing biblical studies degrees.

- I didn't see this at all. I saw a variety of ages. But I saw people socializing, normal socializing, not debating reformed theology and arminianism on the street corner.

- I experienced people being friendly with me. People who had no other reason to talk to me and shake my hand besides that we were both from nebraska.

- A prestigious professor shaking my hand and letting me know he was glad to have me in class.

- I know other people have had differing experiences. Thats OK.

- I realized that I was asking a lot of the wrong questions about me attending seminary.

- I kept asking "what can I do with this or that degree." Instead I should have asked two questions "what will this or that degree prepare me to do." And "what kind of ministry is God calling me to do."

- Ministry can't be viewed as a career. This is hard when things like bills need to be paid, and families need to be taken care of.

- We'll see where God leads. Its not my decision anymore.

Ben

consumerism, free market jesus, and donald miller

2008-02-25T13:10:00.003-06:00

A lot probably could be said about consumerism within christianity.

A lot probably SHOULD be said about this. How do you go about doing this?

- Unfortunately right now the most popular way of communicating information is through the mass production and selling of books.

- I find it ironic how I saw an advertisement on bluefishtv.com for a $30 dvd by donald miller

- http://www.bluefishtv.com/ProductDetails.aspx?cid=1001&id=2211&f=&cc=&csc=&ldr=&s=

- Yeah that made me laugh. The mass production and selling of a dvd that probably "challenges our assumptions on the way we look at our Jesus." Unfortunately it is from the same vein as things the dvd is against.

- Oh yeah, personally I think the ciriculum is overpriced. One 60 minute session or two 30 minute sessions and a discussion guide for 30 bucks? Sounds like an easy way out for youth pastors/ college pastors who don't feel like putting the time into teaching.

- Just my thoughts.

ben

Manhood, weightlifting, and John Piper

2008-02-08T01:09:00.000-06:00

- Went to a John Piper Conference in Minneapolis. it was the Desiring God Pastors Conference.

- The speakers were good. D.A. Carson is great to listen to. Crawford Lorrits was suprisingly awesome.

- Two main themes I walked away with: Biblical courage. Man up and teach the bible. Don't be ashamed of it. its a holy book. And its authoritative.

- The other theme is to raise the bar. Don't dumb down anything. And don't settle for mediocrity.

- Yes its true, us evangelicals are lame. I am not denying this. Nor am I going to say "Im not really an evangelical, I am a conservative post modern who is stealthily working within evangelicalism

- This may be true, (except for the post modern part, I will adamantly deny this. Even though the music, movies, art, creativity, approach to blogging, and my critical wonderings about life, god, and progress, scream otherwise).

- But I am still an evangelical. Im not in a house church, and I don't light candles.

- After this conference I am fired up. I don't want to say I was questioning my call to vocational ministry, I am just tired. Last school year (marriage + full-time school + working full time, and then all the events that transpired this summer.) Which I now admit that I need to suck it up, because life happens to everyone. Even pastors. Especially pastors, others peoples lives happen to them.

- I want to recommit my life (not in an alter call sorta way) to the Lords service. I commit my studies, my thoughts, my heart, and my passion. Shoot, I'll even commit my money (or lack there of).

- I want to be courageous. Be brave. Like martin luther tacking a thesis on a door. Like polycarp. Like Jonathan Edwards. Christianity isn't meant to be easy. The prosperity gospel is a huge letdown. I want to get to a point to where I can face social ostracism against my entire culture (Martin Luther), I want to be able to stand up to getting fired from an early american mega church because people wanted to be able to reap the benefits of christianity without being christians (Jonathan edwards). And I want to be able to be brave enough to make the ultimate sacrifice for my faith (polycarp).

- I also want to raise the bar. I am staying an evangelical because I believe that it can be fixed. The mainline denominations went liberal, so evangelicalism rose. Evangelicalism is becoming shallow and seeker sensitive. I believe that within our means we should challenge people. Teach the bible, demand that people take ownership of their faith, and are trained as lay leaders to proclaim the truths of scripture to their circle(s) of influence. I myself want to be an approved workmen, not ashamed, I want to correctly handle the word of Truth. Unfortunately in the age of seeker sensitivity, and administrative pastors, this is not something that always happens. I pray that this is not my future.

Ben

carrot eyes

2008-02-02T01:21:00.000-06:00

- On wednesday I was diagnosed with Carrot Eyes. At least that is what I told the 6th grade kids at youth group.

- I actually have karatitis which is some sort of inflammation of the eyes.

- The contacts I spent a lot of money on last march don't work. They do but...

- I am actually allergic to them. I am allergic to the silicone material they are made out of.

in unrelated news...

- I am fat.

- This is true, this was revealed to me today while shopping with my wife.

- I tried on all the pants (at least most of the larger sized pairs) and none of them fit.

- I went running tonight.

Ben

bad hair day

2008-01-22T22:43:00.001-06:00

- Today I had prayer breakfast for youth staff. I was running a little late (aka i was slow to get out of bed) and I didn't take a shower. (my hair was greasy, important for later in the story).

- I did have time to put on nice clothes (khaki pants and a long sleeve dress shirt). I didn't comb my hair. (Also important for later in the story.

- I was nicely dressed (for me anyway). Sticking up hair.

- Buffalo! (scott) said I was incoherent for the first 10 minutes of the staff breakfast. It comes with just waking up.

- Later when I was leaving the church I tossed my backpack into the passenger side of the car. And awkwardly "fell" into my car and shut the car door at the same time.

- I shut my hair in the car door.

- I then uttered the thought "this is blog worthy."

- Its been awhile since I have deemed a personal narrative "blog worthy" its good to be back.

ben

new year

2008-01-02T21:39:00.000-06:00

2007
Jan

- worked a lot and went to school.

- Almost got shafted out of graduating. But I stuck it to the man. Stood up for myself. And got everything straightened out.

Feb

- rebecca turned 23

March

- Irish people got intoxicated

April
- I turned 23.

May
-Graduated and moved to camp

- Mom found out she had cancer

June
- Mom began chemo

- Camp was crazy

- Life changed completely for a bit.

- My mom was bald.

July
- Really bad car accident.

- Annual celebration of British defeat

- Bad news.

August
- MOved to Grand Islandd

- Started at GIEFC - intern

- My mom got rid of her old "breasts" and got new ones in the same day.

Sept
-Youth group started.

Oct
-Got second job at best buy.

- 2 minutes later decided that I hate retail, and that its not a feasible career choice for me.

Nov
-Ate turkey.

- Probably showed my lovely wife that I love her.

- I got fired for leading Nebraska to a losing season.

Dec
- Bought a TV

- My mom found out she is cancer free.

- Sucked at Greek

Jan 08
- Referenced my mothers "breasts" in a blog post.

ben

is anybody even out there?

2007-12-29T17:52:00.000-06:00

-I wonder if anyone really reads this blog of mine (guitarvirus.blogspot.com) . I know there are people who read, because page impressions are registered.

My goal at first was to have a supplemental blog. So I could go to a non ad-based (besides my own) blog. Yet still randomly post on xanga.com/guitarvirus so family/friends could stay updated.

- But I got lazy. And stopped posting here.

- I think I am going to post more here (believe it when you see it).

- This is mostly because I am starting to think more. More about life. I guess I always think, but lately I've been going through a period of clarity. I don't know what this means, if it has meaning, or if it should. But for me it confirms that there is a God, and he is continually interacting with my soul/heart/life/being/existence.

Ben

depression

2007-12-19T17:33:00.000-06:00

I usually don't support many organizations besides the local church. But I found an organization that I wouldn't mind supporting. Its not that I think outside organizations are bad. It's just that I've never been too impassioned by them. Which explains why I am currently in ministry in a church.

The organization that I find to be of note is "To Write Love on Her Arms" I know this is fairly trendy. A lot of popular bands christian and secular wear t-shirts and have publicly supported this group. But I don't care. I think it'd be a shame to ignore this cause just to "stay away from trendiness."

http://www.twloha.com/

-Its to raise awareness about suicide, addiction, cutting, etc. To be honest these are scary issues. Issues that make most people uncomfortable. They are uncomfortable to not only talk about. But uncomfortable to help people who deal with these issues.

-I guess I have many qualms against evangelical Christianity. One of them is shoving threatening issues under the rug, or glossing over them. Whether its divorce, pornography addiction, alcohol, depression etc.

-We are either too weak to call someone out on something, or we ourselves aren't living upright lives beyond reproach so without being a hypocrite we can't call attention to an issue.

Forgotten Generation:

-I hope we don't have a forgotten generation. A generation that because of pluralism and post-modernism we don't actively preach the gospel.

-A generation where we say "its ok to hurt, to cut, to drink... because everyone is different."

- According to the Facts on the website from NIMH 2/3 of all teens suffering from Depression don't seek treatment.

- We have celebrate recovery and the like for adults. What do we have for teens and college students who are more likely suffer depression for a length longer than a year. (5.3% of adult population vs 8.3 of youth)

Any thoughts?

ben

rebecca i am sorry

2007-11-21T10:55:00.001-06:00

Rebecca I am sorry. I am sorry that I only put one napkin under the breadstick. I am sorry that the grease from the breadstick leaked through.

I am sorry that there was a grease stain left on the couch covers. I am so very sorry.

I also want to apologize for making the apology about the grease stain such a public thing. This was not my intention. And again, I am sorry.

ben

Youth Ministry: Purpose

2007-11-12T23:57:00.000-06:00

These are thoughts. Not definite opinions. They are open to my maturing. Also it should be noted that I am not an official youth pastor right now. I am "just" an intern. The just is for humor. Cause Hey! everyone knows that interns don't actually matter. Things will probably change when I am forced to move past my ideas and ideals being put into fruition.

Ben

One of my frustrations with tradition is that it often leaves things unquestioned, and because of that not understood. Within ministries we often leave things the way they are because they seem to be working, they have worked before, or because they are easier. So as we do in many other areas of our lives, we fall into the rut of tradition and routine.

Right now I am thinking through something fairly simple. And that is the purpose of Youth Ministry. Yeah I know... its very cliché' to be "purpose driven" and to read Rick Warrens book. But rest assured, I won't be talking about him, or be referencing him. Mostly because I am a postmodern reactionary (po-mo in denial) and his style is outdated and essentially ineffective.

I feel that it is very important to have a holistic approach to ministry. That is, to consider youth ministry within the greater context of the local church, and within the greater context of the greater church, or all of Christendom. The purpose of youth ministry is to reach 4 distinct groups of people. Each of these groups are nearly equal.

The first group is obvious, and that is the students that are involved in youth ministry. Of course this group is more equal than the rest (i.e., more important) but not by much, and it will be a constant fight to stop from keeping them from taking all the youth pastor(s)/youth staff(s) time. I say this though with a disclaimer: If we effectively reach the other 3 groups, students will grow and this growth will be intentional. This will be both an individual spiritual growth, and a numeric growth. Through the will of God we must provide opportunity for these kids to mature spiritually, biblically (importance stressed here), socially, and culturally (rich culture like art, books, movies, and music. But not pornographic art, people magazine isn’t a book, stupid empty movies, and divisive music). We must also empower these students to dominate and be awesome.

The second group is the youth staff. These are the hands and feet of the ministry. In an era full of impersonal mega churches and cold fundamentalist churches it is very difficult for people to actually find a place serving and being apart of the body of Christ. It is important to give them opportunity to practice the (Matt 28:19) commandment given them. Some of them may not be ready to pour their lives into students. But this is something we build to. It is also important to structure our youth ministries to get a balance of youth worker direct contact with students (small groups), and accountable teaching. Both can happen on the same night, or alternate. Youth staff must feel empowered to be on a mission. Otherwise they won’t make sacrifices to be discipled and to be committed to youth activities. Expectations for the time commitment of youth staff must be made in advance. Don’t hide anything, don’t trick anyone into volunteering. Let them know that it will be hard, make them read 1 &2 Timothy, hold them accountable with their time and the spiritual health of themselves and their families. If even after discipleing and encouragement from the youth pastor and other staff they start wavering and aren’t holding up to commitments release them. They need to be able to commit the time they would spend in youth group/small groups, and regular youth staff meetings to be with their families and spend time getting things together with their relationship with Christ. It seems harsh to reject them, but it would be liberation to that which they grow from positively. If someone is only halfway sold on the vision and purpose of the ministry, they will be a constant thorn in the future.

The third group is the family unit (parents). With each generation parents and teenagers are becoming continually more and more distant from each other both morally and culturally. It is important to bridge this gap. This is where having parents as youth workers (who have proper motivation to minister all kids) is beneficial. At times parents are the most critical (its their kids on the chopping block), having this parental perspective on the inside is healthy to bridge the gap. It is also important to earn the respect of the parents. This will help so that multiple children from the family will be encouraged from home to attend youth events as they progress through youth group. Contact with parents is more than just a monthly newsletter. Or a quarterly parents meeting. Its intentional time on Sunday morning, before/after youth group, calls during the week, any sort of positive contact will help. Contact with both parents and youth together is also healthy. This demonstrates to both parents and students that it is possible to communicate with the opposite group socially, and that there is an unbiased neutral party who is rooting for both parents to be awesome at parenting, and for students to be transformed, matured, and sent on a mission to reach the 4th group.

The fourth group is the lost students that our students come into contact with everyday at school or within whatever circles they run around with after school. The students who are being taught by the youth pastor, disciple by the youth volunteer, parented by the parents, and being matured by Christ, and being matured in Christ. Coming out of an era of perfected evangelistic crusades and alter calls, the students have something that the youth pastor doesn’t have, and that youth workers don’t have either. And that is time. Time to influence a postmodern generation that is open to spiritual things, that has questions, that is both rejecting a meta-narrative and craving answers at the same time. Training our students to confront the concept of “lost sheep” and to deal with criticism of Christianity will prepare them for college. It will also prepare them to live the rest of their lives as missionaries. Missionaries in offices, schools, factories, farm service co-ops, retail stores, rotary clubs, or any other place that they will spend time or have influence.

sick celebrity

2007-10-26T18:57:00.001-05:00

- HI folks, no blog in long time.

- Things are going well.

- I got sick this week.

- I got in the paper for it.

- Kind of...

- http://www.theindependent.com/stories/10252007/new_physician25.shtml

ben

blahd

2007-09-07T16:48:00.000-05:00

- B-rec and I now live on an oasis in the great american desert. Yes, Grand Island.

- A lot of people are probalby wondering why we moved to grand island. Crap they don't even have hu hot, chipotle, or culvers.

- I like the church. Rebecca likes her job at the hospital.

- When it came down to it, Lincoln was starting to turn into a life sucker. I just felt... like... there were certain limitations that that city was placing on me. I can't explain it very well over a blog. If you try to explain it to yourself don't think in specifics, and don't take it personal. Of course I am not talking for Rebecca, she'd be more inclined to live in LIncoln than myself.

- These reflections are because I went to lincoln last night. For the first night of my Greek class. It should be fun. My teacher said we could get kicked out of the class if we used our limited greek knowledge to another brother down. I liked that. Theres nothing worse than someone who is overeducated telling you what to think.

- I think that is part of my reluctance for heading off to seminary. I don't want to be told how ot think by academics. I'd rather learn from real people doing real things.

I took this quiz

You scored as Anselm, Anselm is the outstanding theologian of the medieval period.He sees man's primary problem as having failed to render unto God what we owe him, so God becomes man in Christ and gives God what he is due. You should read 'Cur Deus Homo?'

Anselm

87%

Karl Barth

80%

Martin Luther

80%

John Calvin

67%

Jonathan Edwards

60%

Friedrich Schleiermacher

60%

Augustine

40%

Jürgen Moltmann

33%

Paul Tillich

27%

Charles Finney

20%

Which theologian are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

ben

tired

2007-08-09T15:15:00.001-05:00

- Pain sucks. Sometimes you should not try to explain it or justify it. You should just be still and know who your God is.

- Sometimes I don't like doing anything. Nothing is my favorite activity. No talking. No moving. Just the tv and my computer.

- Sometimes I don't think I am very good at things. I don't mean to make this emo. But I just get self conscious.

- I had a good conversation with my friend Myles. About what you do and your actions. How if you follow God and put forth effort then you have obeyed and done your part. Then God is to use what you have done.

- Of course you should constantly be striving to more effectively serve God. Don't be a bum.

- I saw the simpsons movie. I know i know, I am a sinner and I thought it was funny.

- I guess im just tired. Non-physical.

ben

see saw

2007-07-21T23:04:00.000-05:00

- I wanted to go to an Emery show on friday night. But I was exhausted and just didn't have it in me to go. This week has been taxing... almost too taxing. And its not even the second week in april (tax joke).

- Whats crazy is that that which is draging me (and my wife) down doesnt have anything to do with camp.

- Pray for us. Some hurts are best not out in the open. Personally this is awkward for me. I like to be as transparent as possible (or atleast i like to convince myself of this). But when hurts affect others, they must go mum.

- God is good. Cliche` I know. But often God is cliche` I think this has something to do with his eternality. He often repeats himself. This is both annoying and comforting. Oh well. What do I know? I am just a created being that likes to think too much. Everytime I am elevated by my thoughts my humanity brings me back.

- 2.5 weeks left of camp. pray for the ministry out there. Staff = amazing + exhausted

- I guess answers and comforting words are never enough. This makes sense though. Christ is supposed to sustain us. Not our own thoughts or rationale. Trying to rationalize bad things just leaves you alone. "Be still and know that I am your God." Literally be still. Maybe we need to stop complaining about the world moving fast, and just sit and soak in all that is God.

- Man i wish I had some Tozer tonight. But i guess ill just have to start reading the new Harry Potter book my wife bought me tonight

ben

2007-07-02T01:13:00.001-05:00

- We were in a car accident tonight.

- Pray for Rebecca, her mom, her brother, the other girl, and myself that we are ok.

- We of course are ok. But it didn't look like that at first.

- The car is totaled. And rolled onto the roof. But i saved bethanys "Wicked" cd.

- God is sovereign and just. Most of all, God is good.

- Pray.

not promsing anything

2007-06-17T00:02:00.001-05:00

- I am not making any promises but I don't want to mention post-modernity or emerging or anything of the sort in this post. But I am not promising anything.

- Just finished the first week of camp with kids. Things went mostly well. I can say that I enjoy the ministry still. Not to say that I didn't expect to. Its just that this summer has changes. New role with more responsibility, being married, anticipating the future (whatever that may be), my mom being sick, etc. All these things have can taint ones perspective.

- Pray for my mom. She was diagnosed with cancer 6 weeks ago. Since then she's had a surgery to remove the tumor, and has gone through 2 rounds of chemotherapy. Its been tough on all of us, but shes staying strong. Remember: Good is good, and God is sovereign. Even if bad things happen, we still must press on and submit ourselves to his will. Just pray for her.

- In lighter news, the other morning at 4:30 AM a cabin leader pounded on our door because her camper fell out of bed and hurt her wrist. Rebecca went to go help with the situation (at the cabin), and I stayed behind in case someone came back.

- After laying restlessly in bed I decided I would wait outside the nurses station in case anyone came back. I grabbed my pillow and blanket. I then realized for some reason that I had forgotten to turn of the A.C. in our meeting room. So I went to turn it off. I came back and laid on the ground for Rebecca. I wait for about 20 minutes.

- Rebecca then opens the first aid station door (which leads to our living quarters), as she had return while I ahd gone to the other room and asks "what are you doing." I reply with "waiting for you to get back. For some reason at 5 AM this was extremely funny. We had a good laugh.

- We had a tornado warning at camp this week. Apparently there was a tornado 10 miles or so away from camp (I dont know if it touched down but it was spotted). I went into intense Program Director mode and got everyone to their designated shelters. Then later I went back into "fun program director" mode. Its good to know that I can fullfill both aspects of my role.

- Pray for the staff and campers this week. I am excited for all that is going to happen. Pray for them to have patience as we tweak the program. Pray for endurance as this is their 4th week out there and its easy to get restless.

- Nibb high football rules...

ben

camp staff training

2007-06-02T22:24:00.000-05:00

- Life gets weird sometimes.

- Wisdom is what I seek from life. Wisdom about God, his relationship with his people, and more specifically wisdom about myself and God interacting.

- Being a leader is also weird. Its hard. Decisions come flying fast. Some fun, some easy, some very hard. Pray for me.

- Pray for the staff of Timberlake this summer. Not that they need it, (they do because we are all fallen creatures) but pray for them because they deserve it. (Christs work on the cross, and their sacrifice).

- I am excited for the staff of Timberlake. They are amazing. I hope they read this because they deserve to hear it from me one more time.

- During a staff training session I told the staff that I "loved them." They became all warm and fuzzy n such, then I killed their Joy with the simple words of "Just kidding." They laughed. That brought more Joy.

- I like pizza rolls. And cupcakes (yellow with chocolate frosting). Rebecca i like her too.

ben

church, for the hundredth time

2007-05-16T14:25:00.000-05:00

- I really appreciate times when I can walk away from a hang-out/gathering and feel really blessed. Lately I've been blessed when conversations have turned deep. Not deep as in specifics, but a deep as in freeing. Conversations where both people want to go deep. And enjoy it. I enjoy this.

- I have also had good conversations about Church. I'll warn you I don't like having conversations with preconceived notions. These would include liturgy(even though I don't like it all that much), worship style(even though I prefer simple worship, acoustic stuff, God honoring, Christ focused), message style (even though I prefer expository preaching with relevant examples), etc...

- I like church-ish conversations that knock down walls. To get to the point as to why God wants us to organize ourselves in groups. Groups are effective, especially if these groups have one particular focus, and that being cultivating relationships with our lord and savior Jesus Christ through the work of the Holy Spirit. But I should warn you, don't throw theology out the window. In fact, it is very important.

- To know where you've been, and where you are will better serve the kingdom of Christ as where to go next.

- I think I would like post-modern churches if it weren't for this. If there were a deeper understanding of the word of God, then what is relevancy? It's just a deeper understanding of the word of God applied to our lives. Our lives may need be transformed through the work of the holy spirit.

- I mean if I am not mistaken, aren't post-modern churches just the current culture reacting to the productionized, seeker-sensitive mega churches? Are programs the solution? Are young hipsters lighting candles without any regard for tradition the solution? Is highly produced and scripted worship the solution? What about loose relevant teaching that has little respect for scripture? The answer is no.

- The modern/ post-modern tension is full of empty chatter. My wife is tired of me talking about it. Most don't even know what it exactly is. Thats ok. I think it will be over in a few years. Because in the end, the emergents will start to get married, have kids, and realize that the community that they so desired in the emerging church isn't satisfying. The only thing to truely guide you through life is a deeper relationship with Jesus Christ and a deeper foundational in the scriptures. The seeker-sensitive baby boomers will probably die. (seriously they will, some of them are retiring now). Don't worry, I am sure that the retirement homes will pump in sattelite feeds from saddleback and willow creek. (sorry for cheap shot)

- In the end John 1:1-5 will win out. The word of God will endure forever.

- Maybe I should get more interesting hobbies. Like rock guitar band. That'd be a fun hobby.

2007-05-13T01:41:00.000-05:00

- tonight spiderman taught me to put my wife before myself.

- I also learned forgiveness. Specifically forgiveness towards sand creatures that supposedly kill uncles.

- And I also learned that if you say hurtful things to a friend, and throw a friends bomb back at them using a web, that they will come back to help you later, but only if their butler tells them a story.

- I also learned not to play with black alien goo.

- Oh and emo spiderman = stink

apparently spiderman is now the lead singer of Bright Eyes (conor oberst).

Conor Oberst (bright eyes) = emo

spiderman (peter parker) = emo

ben

article, sorry if you cant read it

2007-04-19T00:04:00.001-05:00

- So i came across this article the other day... (Safari wont let me link... http://theindependent.com/stories/041407/new_addiction14.shtml)

- Pretty good for a PK.

- I kept thinking about will ferrall in "blades of glory." Talking about his sex addiction... "its a real problem.."

- Seriously jokes aside, its a well written article.

- Its also a serious problem. Its also something thats easy to sweep under the rug. Mostly because of the social stigma.

- As with most sins of the heart, it needs one solution. "jesus." Among others to relay those principles.

- In related news Sanjaya made it to the top of the Drudgereport.com Beating out the unfortunate VA Tech tragedy and the partial birth abortion ban decision.

- Simon Cowell is the most powerful man from great britian. More poweful than prince charles and he is currently passing Paul Mcartney and Pete Townsend). Him raising an eyebrow is news. Me raising an eyebrow is a faux paus (pronounced fox pass)

ben

2007-03-30T23:59:00.000-05:00

- Sometimes I go to blockbuster to get movies and I can't find a movie that I want. I walk the aisles pick up movies, read the back, and return them to the shelf.

- I feel like I do the same thing with life. I know the type of movie I want. I want an action movie. But I can't seem to find the right movie that figuratively represents my life.

- When I pick up something in my life that I think I want to rent, something that I read on the back doesn't fit well.

- Maybe I should look in a different genre. Maybe a comedy. Or a documentary. Or instead a fantasy. Or maybe I'll try all three and rent "An inconvenient Truth" by Al "I invented the internet" Gore.

Ben

Apple Computers

2007-03-29T13:43:00.000-05:00

Meet Mac Guy (and his nerdy friend "PC") hes is cool, he is hip, and he is trendy. Hes the guy everyone is willing to hang out with. He's so cool, I wish I were cool like him. I mean I have an Ipod, doesn't that make me cool enough? Maybe I need an IMac or a Macbook Pro to make me cool.

Meet Justin Long. He is also Mac Guy. This is him before he became cool. This was before he taught others to buy Apple computers. He probably sold french fries at Mcdonalds.

Meet John Hodgman. He is PC Guy. Hes a resident expert (according to the picture). Hes a nerd. I dont want to be a nerd. I will still stick with my Mac.

Kindergarten

2007-03-28T22:38:00.000-05:00

- Im experimenting with a new blog... Im ridiculous I guess. Its at guitarvirus.blogspot.com It is one that I used in high school. I deleted all the old posts (after I saved them in another place) and I am starting new. I hope to post there frequently. Ill sometimes share with xanga, and livejournal.

- Remember Kindergarten? Sharing? Crafts, recess, Nap time etc... I remember I once had an accident during nap time... My kindermat was soaking with urine.

- I miss kindergarten. I dont miss the embarassment of wetting myself in front of my fellow 5 year olds.

- Right now high school feels like kindergarten. Sometimes I miss high school. I remember being discontent throughout most of high school. When it was over, I knew that something good was over. Its always sad to see the end of something good... the chicago bulls, republicans being fiscally conservative, new coke, old coke, clear pepsi, Mellow Yellow, Surge, and eventually Vault. (all three are pretty much the same thing, and made by coke).

- I dont really see college as something good. I see camp as something good. Rebecca (my wife) is something good. Finding myself is something good. All of these are good, but I don't believe they are because of college.